YFriday, July 29, 2005
I duno...what's happening to me right now..and at this point of time..i don't really care..
Farid came back and apologized. I duno what made him do so..Heck.
And yeah...I'm sick. Have been sick for two freakin days..i hate it.
Of course..he didn't msg me when i didnt msg him..so wtf.
All the more i should let go..........
_callous_ was here with you at
YWednesday, July 27, 2005
I will let go...
I'm NOT gona hope for something this uncertain.
We are not fated.
Accepting it and finally moving on..
**I changed my mind cuz i read her blog..
He loves her and who noes?
He might've made his mind up on marrying her..(DuH)
I'm just oblivious to such fact and her blog made me realise..
I'm letting go...
I've let go.
I don't deserve to be treated in such a way..
Coz as I've learnt..If a guy really loves me...he wont wana hurt me..
he'd make sure that I'm happy and loved..
I will remain single..happy..and looking.. *smiles*
(tis actually makes me feel soo darn good..)
_callous_ was here with you at
Why is it that each time no matter how hurt that person can make you feel..
Love will elude everything and make you want him back?
I've been hurt and it has been so long....3years....why can't I let him go?
I am soo confused in my own feelings and my thoughts..
What am I to do now?
He's heartbroken..by the gurl who's supposed to be the only one he really loves..
BUT he's the only one i ever loved..
Im not gona appear to b e desperate at any cost. He's not interested and that's that.PERIOD.
Does it matter in the end? What I feel?
i doubt so..cuz either way, im not gona have him..we are never gona get back together.
Msgd him and got back in touch..BUT i can sense his hurt over his breakup..
I've decided to just be his friend...and leave it as that.
Coz even if we are together,I will be his rebound..obviously.
I have never stood a chance in his life.
I have always been his rebound..and it sucks literally to realise that.
How to move on when he's the only one i ever loved?
why cant i forget him no matter how hard i try to hate him...........
FcuK..this stinkz.
I know u people will tel me that im only 18...more experiences and nicer guys will come along...
I've only been hurt ever since i lost him..he's irreplaceable..most of u will not be able to understand..
U don't have to try to if u can't..
Love really stinkz...
It's taking over my thoughts..my mind..my heart..
I can't let this prolong......
How am I to stop it when it has always been there?
I Miss him..
I still love him..
No matter how much hurt he's caused..I can't let go..
I'm just gona be patient..at least try to be..
I hate him= wat a freakin contradiction!
I just wish we'd just get back together and be happy again...
If OnlyWishesCameTrue
_callous_ was here with you at
All alone silence fills my room
But in a memoryI hear you calling me
Close my eyes and I'm there with you
Like it was like yesterday
But then it fades away
Take me back turn back the hands of time
When you kissed me in the warm September rain (warm September rain)
Back before my heart was filled with pain
If only we could be in love that way again
CHORUS:
If Wishes Came True
And of all the dreams of I never wondering I be holding you
If Wishes Came True
And I would that someone always special in your heart
We will still be loversNot apart
If Wishes Came True
[Verse 2]
Now you're gone and I am on my own
Feeling lost inside
Since you said goodbye
In my dreams I can still feel your touch
Lying next to me
Feeling ecstasy
Take me back turn back the hands of time
When you kissed me in the warm September rain (Warm September rain)
Back before my heart was filled with pain
If only we could be in love that way again
[REPEAT CHORUS]
I love you madlyI need you badly
Give our love one more chance
_callous_ was here with you at
YTuesday, July 19, 2005
I could tell from the minute I woke up
It was going to be a lonely lonelylonely lonely day.
Rise and shine rub the sleep out of my eyes
And try to tell myself I can'tgo back to bed
It's gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day.
Even though the sun is shining down on me and I should feelabout as happy as can be
I just got here and I already want to leave
It's gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day
Everybody knows that something's wrong
But nobody knows what's going on
We all sing the same old song
When you want it all to go away
It's shaping up to be a lonely day
I could tell from the minute I woke up it was going to be alonely lonely lonely lonely day.
_callous_ was here with you at
shyt.
today marks d end of me n him. i guess i really cant keep anything going with any1. i feel like crap. AGAIN. thats wat my sister said.hah.
im not at all amazed..but im hurt. I cant believe he could ignore me...3days..just like that.
DONT crap wit me about only 3days. it's a waste of quality time. n worst. it's d point wer i really needed him.
guess i really have no one now..except sue..and shi...yikes!
wat happened to my sister, shiting, and evry1 else? i honestly don't know.
CRAP.
i dyed my hair blu black..look diff..heh..but i liked it. needs alota getting used to..but yeah.
im feeling more of myself now.
being alone and stuff makes you do things that u havent done for quite some tym..heh.
i watched fantastic4 yday..wit sue,shi and kengkee and peiyi..yepz!
im kinda psyched watchin the movie..mebe it's coz i needed the entertainment.
like wat sue said..i cant believe i'm actually tinking abt school rite after stepping out of the theatre.
school is really draining me each day..but im glad im scoring well enough..i just need to hang on..i have to.
by the way, have you guys ever thought of what you are really made of?
like, what are your good and points? Why is life doing tis to you literally?
what is going to happen to your life?
i havent got an answer to that yet.
_callous_ was here with you at
YThursday, July 07, 2005
I was on my way to school today..n guess who I saw..ermm..Anna..
The gurl whom I thought was his ex gf..but turned out to be a friend..a very goood friend as a matter of fact. heh..
I saw her and I was somewhat "amazed" cuz how can't a guy like him fall for some1 so unique and well i guess attractive?
It's kinda hard to believe cuz they seem to be so close to each other...
ugh..wat the hell..but she is gorgeous tho..no..im not turning gay or anything like that but I am just kinda flabbergasted by the sight and the fact that he's with me..and not her..
A month has passed and I guess we are doin fine..
But now..upon seeing her in person..i just can't help wondering why..
I mean..i just dun feel that he desrves to be with me..
Judging by the state that i am/was in..
the fact that I am not totally into him..
the fact that i don't think he's quite "there" yet..
AND the fact that i don't think im being honest with him..
It's not that im not good enough..Its just that I don't feel we should be together..
Im only 17 goin on 18..and Im not into the kinda commitment he wans me to be in..
well..not quite..
I duno..I gez Im just getting my life kinda mixed up ryte now..
And bein in tis so-called relationship kinda scares me..
He's soo nice..and understanding and almost what I wanted..
BUT there's something missing...
Like when he gave me the blue rose(the flower i told him i fancy about a year ago)..
He left it on the passenger seat wen I was about to board the car..
It was nice..it got me "there" for awhile..u noe all 'touched and im flying' kinda stuff..
But it really just got me there for a lil while.......
Im still in love with him tho..
Im just not sure why he wans to be wit me.....
Knowing that there's a gurl whose hotter than me close 2 him..
Knowing that he'l get hurt...
Knowing that I've hurt him once...
_callous_ was here with you at